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I have read a few related topics in the net and usually they suggest comparing with others is not robust. But if we don't compare with others, how can we know where we are standing, eg. when negotiating salary. Also, sometimes, we need to compare with others to improve ourselves.
However, if by comparing with others, we feel inferior, then this is not therapeutic. And I always fall into this trap.
Comparing is inevitable, I believe. So, is there a healthy way to compare ourselves with others?
(it will be great if you can give your personal experiences; also, any proposal of reading materials will be highly appreciated)
Thank you very much
R
You are very right. I feel inferior all the time. Now I know why. I always compare myself with someone more triumphant or more highly paid. I just discovered that it is wrong way to compare after reading your question. The correct way to compare is to get one or two persons with exactly the same efficiency, qualifications and backgroup to compare with. This way, we are neither inferior or superior to them. Equal competition. Lets quote another example out of this rat race. Equitable some personnal matters. People sometimes asked this question, "Why are you doing this to me? What do you see in him that I do not have? Job, salary, qualifications , money, car? " On this, sometimes there are things that cannot be compared materially. Things like, maybe her other boy is better looking, better built or treats her otherwise. So, in this case, it is unhealthy comparison because it will make a person inferior or dejected. Its not what you have but what you are that wins.
You shouldn't compare how skinny someone is compared to you...that's why we have those eating disorders...
You are licence, though, I too believe it is inevitable...
You have to compare in the since of, okay, I know what they have/want/look like etc, but that's it...I'm not jealous...
You grasp that kind of comparing...
Discover your unmatched gifts and talents and train in skills that appeal to you. You will be successful in your own way. Many help books state that you must know yourself and then stalk your bliss. Be patient. Listen to your heart. I suggest books by Wayne Dyer, as a start. C. :)!!
Jesus teaches us alot about walking in his shoes and not comparing ourselves to any other base beings. When you start reading the bible, you will feel so much better about yourself. You can read as many self-help books as you need, but none of them will make you feel whole. Only Jesus can do this for you.
I hope you get to feeling better!
And, then, we should be contented with our ability to achieve our personal best, irregardless of what others can or have achieved.
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